Posted in Jewish Parenting

Having “The Talk” With Your Child

“So Mommy, how exactly does a baby get in your tummy?”.

Um….

Okay, admittedly I thought it would be a few more years before I had to answer this question. Since my child was born I’ve agonized about the day when I would finally have to sit down and have “the chat” with her. You see, growing up my parents were much more conservative. Sex wasn’t a topic that was regularly spoken about. I assume their parents barely breathed the word. It just wasn’t done. But, like anything in evolution you live and learn and figure it out on your own– eventually. That is how I learned about sex. It was a hybrid-combination of school sex education (which was embarrassing at the very minimum) and real life experiences.

I wanted my daughter to have a different experience.

Still though as I sat there pondering my response I found myself blushing slightly. I decided to choose a scientific response. “Well like dogs, and cats, and other animals, we are mammals too”, I began. Okay I admit that I omitted much of the “actual” process-making and opted for simply saying, “And so when a daddy’s seed and a mommy’s egg are put together into a magic spell, a baby is made”. I left it at that. Taking a deep breath I thought her curiosity would be over for now. Nope! My little angel pressed on with more inquisitive questions.

“Mommy… why do you wear a pad sometimes?”.

I sat there and looked into her gorgeous, blue eyes. I don’t ever remember being so open and curious as she, but it amazed me how open, honest, and trusting she felt in me to be able to ask such questions. I felt honored, loved, and flattered that we have such an amazing mother-daughter relationship. “Well…” I began slowly, choosing my words with great care, “inside women lies an organ called the uterus”. “Uterus! What’s that?” she asked. “It’s the place where a baby stays to grow until it’s time to come out”. She nodded and listened intently. “Well, when a mommy doesn’t have a baby in there, the uterus has to get rid of its lining and –“.

“What’s a lining?” she chimed in, looking puzzled. How do I explain this? They really ought to make a chapter for this in the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book. But anyways….

“A lining is like… well it’s like a jacket” I said slowly. Her eyes studied me and I could tell she was envisioning an organ putting on a winter coat. I decided to roll with it. “So once a month the uterus gets too warm so it takes the jacket off. Only… you bleed. Not much! Just a little bit. And no, it doesn’t hurt.” I assured her quickly. I guess I expected her to be repulsed or mortified. I know I would have at that age, but instead she was more intrigued. (Perhaps she’ll grow to be a doctor one day?). “But if all the blood comes out of your body won’t you turn into a puddle and die?” she asked, looking at me very seriously. I stroked her cheek and smiled, “No, love, G-d made us in a very special way. We only bleed just a tiny bit and then it stops so the uterus can build a new jacket and wait again to take if off the next month”.

My Little nodded and bounced off the bed. My time in the “hot seat” was over for now, though I know more questions in the future will appear. Perhaps that dreaded moment really isn’t so bad. Perhaps, explaining about life and, okay bodily functions, really can be a bonding moment. For now, I’ll let her brain be satisfied with magic spells and “winter coats”. Eventually I’ll explain to her the importance of chocolate and a chick flick. 😉

Have a great day everyone!

( PS- here’s a HILARIOUS video to make you laugh on this very subject)

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